My senior year of college I took a class called The Quest for Meaning. It was a culminating course that all seniors at my school had to take in order to graduate. Like any other course that one was required in order to pass, I did the minimum and I moved on. I do not remember the course, and I do not remember what I was supposed to take out of the course. I spent most of the semester criticizing the class and its structure, and the fact that I had to take the class rather than focusing on the actual content of the course. I now regret all of these transgressions.
In retrospect, when everything always seems to be so much clearer, I realize that just the title of the course was cause for reflection and deep thought. Think about the title for a moment, The Quest for Meaning. The title suggests that you have to travel to find meaning. A quest takes time, a quest takes effort, a quest takes perseverance. During a quest there will be ups and downs, there will be inclement weather and all of this is for the dramatic end of reaching ones destination. That is if you are lucky enough to have a dramatic end. Most things in life just end with little drama involved. The most dramatic part is the journey, or the quest. Where you slip and fall is during the journey. Where the dramatic music plays signaling an impending threat or shift in tone is during the journey. When the journey ends, its all sunshine and rainbows and two simple words that signal the conclusion of the quest, “The End”. However, being honest with myself I realize that I spend most of my time focusing on the “The End”. I think about the rewards that will come with the conclusion of the journey and how that will make the journey (which is this horrible part that I must go through) all worth it. Then finally, when I get a chance to look back on the quest, I realize I lost the message in the quest itself. I have lost the meaning. If only I had taken the time to reflect during the quest. If only I had searched for the meaning throughout the entire quest, maybe then I would have a better understanding of the destination that I have arrived in.
This blog serves multiple purposes. The first purpose it serves is as an accountability piece. This live.life.reflect blog holds me to the promise that I will live a value driven life and continuously take the time to reflect during the quest. I do not know where this journey is going to end or take me but I am going to find meaning in the struggle. Second, this blog serves as a platform to explore my ambitions. I would be lying to you if I said, “it does not matter if people read this”. This is simply not true. I want people to read this, I want to explore these topics with those who have a better sense of these questions than I do. I will be the last person to say that I know it all and it is always harder to embark on a journey all alone. The final purpose that this blogs serves is a public journal to help chronicle my journey. I am an avid “journaler”. I value time for reflection and I collect journals like some collect stamps. There are things that I prefer to keep to myself until I can no longer protect them but I want to share more and find a community willing to share them with me, and those things that I do not fear sharing at this point in the quest will live here.
My hope is that I will find meaning in this quest. When I reach my final destination I will understand, I will reach a form of enlightenment. In football, we have a saying, “leave it all on the field”. That is my goal with this quest. I want to have accomplished all the things that I valued and cared to accomplish. So that one day when the quest is complete I can look back and confront my regrets, pass on my knowledge and wisdom, and make meaning of the quest.
live. life. reflect 